I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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