could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There's always time for handjobs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
