Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
