do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Come share oat with me in your robe
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
