the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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