Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...

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(239): so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM... http://tfl.nu/hm43

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(847): View more from Illinois

If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.

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(847): If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't. http://tfl.nu/9mwz

Replies (12) Good night (4632) Bad night (872)
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(703): View more from Virginia

well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

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(703): well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too http://tfl.nu/1ldg

Replies (18) Good night (6782) Bad night (918)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.

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(201): Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/9um1

Replies (10) Good night (1642) Bad night (3399)
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(718): View more from New York

Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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(718): Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much. http://tfl.nu/absj

Replies (15) Good night (5679) Bad night (1769)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"

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(401): No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out" http://tfl.nu/ac7g

Replies (3) Good night (2796) Bad night (863)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.

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(717): do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important. http://tfl.nu/a970

Replies (7) Good night (4198) Bad night (856)
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(301): View more from Maryland

no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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(301): no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue. http://tfl.nu/bg75

Replies (4) Good night (1874) Bad night (841)
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(260): View more from Indiana

He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF

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(260): He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF http://tfl.nu/3qis

Replies (5) Good night (1877) Bad night (677)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Jesus, are you hammered?

(701): View more from North Dakota

Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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(701): Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus. (1-701): Jesus, are you hammered? (701): Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws. http://tfl.nu/johl

Replies (26) Good night (4058) Bad night (926)
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(313): View more from Michigan

When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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(313): When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand. http://tfl.nu/rx8e

Replies (13) Good night (927) Bad night (1903)
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(509): View more from Washington

Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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(509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx

Replies (4) Good night (488) Bad night (866)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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(724): If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet. http://tfl.nu/ik1n

Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (1081)
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(928): View more from Arizona

i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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(928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n

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(925): View more from California

I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .

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(925): I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER . http://tfl.nu/8mid

Replies (8) Good night (530) Bad night (455)

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