South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
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end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry about my life...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire