Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

tod's in jail

(863): View more from Florida

he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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(240): View more from Maryland

okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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(616): View more from Michigan

Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.

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(254): View more from Texas

Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.

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(420): View more from

Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.

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