dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback