i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?