So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
