Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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