his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
