i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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