well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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