dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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