Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just pee around me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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