cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
