Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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