Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
