Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
