brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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