i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
