So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
