Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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