he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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