he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
