this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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