She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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