i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
