dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
