Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
