Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So. Much. Porn.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
