Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's blow job season.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The power of my boobs compel you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
