yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
