The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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