I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
