I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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