Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
