well most of my day revolves around power hour
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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