my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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