i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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