get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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