Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
