like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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