some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
