i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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