remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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