Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
