..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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