she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
