I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
