4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I smell stomach acid.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
