i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
