My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
