benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
