so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
