Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm getting married
To pizza
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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