I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
