im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
