Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
