Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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