Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
His nipple licking is glorious
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